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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

SIAN SIAN SIAN SIAN~~~
i at father hse now.
DOING NOTHING SIOL!
i is sian dao yao ming arh!!!
ytd bought my fone n sign fer new number.
now? LIKE SHIT!
jux tok on da fone wif sakthi,
dhen he gtg.
haix. now watching dono wad stupid show.. =.=
n donavan statred crapping agn.
nvm.. so lonq no tok tuhh dechathorn le.
coz i 2 days nort at home liiao.
n he never reply my msg.. zZz
nth tuhh post le lurh...
so... buh bye!!

can i dig out my heart n ask it : WHO THE FUCK DO I LOVE RIGHT NOW?!?!?!
burt da fact is. noone.
i will never fucking love anyone now.
coz my heart is fucking broken by two fucking person, best friends forever.
whye? whye muz god arrange dhem tuhh be fucking best friends?
when dhey broke my fucking heart, none of dhem realise.
coz im jux a useless fucking piece of shit!
am i rite? im a piece of fucking shit!!
n i noe i put euu in a very diffiult state burt jux leave me fucking alone!
yall happy can le n im aware dhat i have let euu misunderstood in my previous post.
da reson fer posting dhat is jux tuhh let out my fucking idiote feelings.
nort hinting anyone off euu tuhh.... even fucking notice me,

darlinq. carry on n have fun.
i wont bother anyone of dhem now.
fer da time being. i will jux watch dhem from fucking a distance.
XINGAN! da only person i can go to is euu.

if euu dun wanna help me burt even misunderstood me,
i rally dono wad tuhh do.

boiis come n go,
burt oni true friends will stay by ur side forever.

XINGAN i hope euu dun have da idea dhat i wanted euu tuhh give up on him.
im rally dissapointed, dissapointed at da fact dhat euu thought i wanted euu tuhh gib up on him.
da feelings is oni 10% fer him now,
70% wif euu n 20% on... euu should noe hu.
EUU NOE?!?!?!

im such a fucking iodite bitch ! ! ! !
and all my friends n jux fucking leave me alone.
AND LET ME ROT LIKE A FUCKING SHIT! ! ! !

Saturday, October 27, 2007

you are the one hu make me happy
you are the one hu make me sad
you are the one hu make me realise i excisted in the world.
you are the one hu broke my heart.
you are the one hu make me cut my wrist.
you are the one hu make me smoke even more.
wad more can euu make me do?

i gave up. i really gave up.
i really cant take da fact dhat i told myself , I DUN LOVE EUU
although i tell myself i could wait fer euu tuhh like me.
burt in the end, i rally cant take it.
i admit dhat im choldish.
i admit shat im fat.
i admit dhat im stupid
i admit dhat my attitude suck.
burt i cant admit dhat i dun love euu at all.

do euu even care?
do euu even noe i excisted?
do euu noe dhat i cry fer euu almost everyday.
do euu noe i cut myself jux tuhh feel da pain?
euu never knew. coz in all dhis while i kept it for myself.

i smoke
i cut
i puch da wall
i cry
i shouted at ppl
jux tuhh fustrate da anger on myself.
does anyone noe? NO!
i smoke dhey say i act lian.
i cut dhey say i act emo.
i punch dhey say i act hiong.
i cry dhey say i act ke lian.
i shout at ppl dhey say i act fierce.
ITS NORT TRUE!!!
coz euu dono me well.
n stop all thoise fucking sarcastics words of urs!
euu mother fucking bodoh dumbass idiote BITCH!!!!

i did so much.
burt yet. wad i get is nothing burt a fucking piece of shit.
my heart is very messy now,
hu is the one hu can untie the knot?
burt only if euu care.
oni if euu noe im always by ur side.
burt euu never noe i excisted.

Friday, October 26, 2007

okays. my results now.
EL- 60/B4
CL- 65/B4
Maths- 62/B4
Science- 57/C5
Geog- 63/B4
History- 48/D7
Lit- 62/B4
D&T- 60/A2
HE- 61/B4
Art- 48/D7
Total - 595/1000

now fer wad happen today,
i did a very dumb thing lurh.
my hand in dex finger gort stuck in da door. as in gib da door KIAP.
dhen now very pain~
ok. nvm. slept in class fer 1 hour dhen ms chong cor us move da table.
WTF lurh. no table use dhen cannort slp. WA. i jit tao sian diao.
dhen recess. aft recess gort bak my report book. PROMOTED TO S2 EXPRESS.
im so damn happy lurh. burt dhis semester no fail.oni my art.
haix. n dint get an A.
after sch went tuhh fetch serene wibb joanne dhen went tuhh BBC.
DECHATHORN BLUFF ME!!!
nvm. dhen went dere play flour. was fun.
dhen went tuhh serene hse slept fer 15 min dhen went tuhh 222. YF was dere.
he scold me fer making da bbc so dirty.
ZzZzZz
da bbc his meii? donavan oso dun care n play wibb us. n we mke sakthi's shoe full of flour.
n i wonder how he going home. haix. too bad i cant make him white.
n yupps. nw im oni using my middle finger tuhh type. n i dono went isit gonna recover.
zzzzz
n i cant play audition. sadded.

i will wait fer euu till euu realise i excisted.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

haix. nothing muxh happen today.

as usual, dint go sch today.

n i'll go sch tomorrow.

coz I MISS HIM TOO MUCH!!

kekes. its secret oni shermaine n serene knows. joanne maybe..

keke.

anyways , went tuhh meet XINGAN today at bbc, she pass me my bag n i pass her my water baby =(

nvm. its fer my XINGAN n i don't mind

we played wif da water babies.

killed dhem n throw it on nashri n donavan's hair.

lol!

dhen serene went home,n so does nashri

n left me n donavan alone in da bbc.

n he started nagging agn.

"有书不读，ponteng , 抽烟。haix"

HE'S SERIOUSLY DRIVING ME CRAZY LURH.!

cor him help me buy cigg he dowan.

ARHS!!

NEVERMIND heard it? NEVERMIND

dhen played abit of basketball n waited fer da rest tuhh come.

ben yong feng n sebastian came.

borrow sebast bike go buy water,.

dhen yong feng was playing wif a so called 'noob' guy lurh.

dhen dhat idiote go hit yong feng's face.

dhen i think hit his upper lip n lower lip where his piercing is at.

dhen his mouth started tuhh bleed.

dhen cor me help him buy coke, n i dono whyye go help him buy.

IM KIND DE KAYS!!

dhen after dhat donavan went home n i went home oso.

n tok tuhh dechathorn till... 10 plus yeaps.

n now... is sian de lo.

how i wish tomorrow faster come =x

dint went tuhh sch today yupps.
dhen woke up atbout 11 plus when daddy called me.
n do alot of stuff tuhh get rite da appointment date so its today.
nid go BRAIN SCAN.
scared lata scnned out dhat i smoke dhen i die liiaos.
ok.
in da room da machine very big dhen i very scared lurh.
dhen dhey say nid injection. =x
ac first i thot at arm dere burt its at da wrist.
coz dhey putting da medicine in by tube
wa lao. damn scary lurh. coz i was nort looking n dono wad da docs are doing.
at first da needle went in.
i thot done de.
dhen suddenly da boy doc use alot of strength dono do wad.
i dono is pulling of pushing.
dhen very pain/
dhen da gal doc use cotton clean my hand dhen i dono wad dhey doing.
cooling cooling wad. dhen she lift up my hand dhen i saw blood =x
burt dint see da plastic thing on my wrist coz i dono wad it is lurh.
dhen she place my hand on my stomach i chua dio/
coz i saw my hand da plastic thing.
dhen i noe da boiy doc pushing in da plastic thingy.
dhen went in da machine.
dhen da gal doc put in a tub INTO da plastic thngy.
dhen she pressed a botton n injected da medicine into my hand.
i swear i can FEEL da medicine go through my vein lurh.
YUCKS!!
dhen my whole hand numb. n i wanna move my body, burt cannot move my head.
so i move my legs. ahahahs.
after da scan dhen go lor5 wibb daddy eat mee pok n went home slp till 10 plus.
not oredy 2.55 n i cant slp.
guess wont be gg sch tomorrow le
NOW I IS DAMN SIIAN. DONO WAD TUHH DO.
GUESS WILL BE PLAYING ADDICTING GAMES TILL MORNING BURH.

SIIANAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

lalala. myye niew blog.