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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

seriously, i really feel something's not in place.
its just like i'm am extra toy bought by god from some weird place and then placed in this fucking place called "Earth"
i don't feel right wherever i am.
whether i'm at home, in school, outside, with friends, with stead, with family whatsoever.
its just like i'm an extra person that popped out of nowhere.
someone that is not suppose to excist.
i feel that i'm always the wet blanket. no matter who i am with or where i am.
i'm always to be blamed.
the one with the worst behaviour.
the one who is the most stupid, dumb, retarded and someone who does not even deserve respect from ANYONE. not even an animal

they always says "treat people like how you wish to be treated"
WHY THE FUCK MUST I TREAT THEM GOOD WHEN THEY FUCKING DON'T EVEN CARE FOR MY EXCISTANCE
when i say something funny they don't laugh.
when i suggest something they don't care.
when i say something they don't listen.
when i am saying something that is suppose to be right they'll scold be for being a nuisance.
when i care they say i'm a hypocrite.
when i don't care they say i'm heartless.
JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS !
do i even deserve this?
i've already done all i can.
but my excistance is still not proven
WHY THE FUCK IS THE WORLD SO UNFAIR!
why the fuck must i bear with attitudes of others when i did not even do a single thing wrong !
"aiya, his/her personality is like de, you must understand and tahan know, i know you are the most obedient one"
so i have to tolerate others and when i'm in the bad mood THEY GOT THE FUCKING RIGHT TO SCOLD ME AND DISRESPECT ME LA !
everyone around me is like that. and mind it EVERYONE !
for my temper i've already been able to tolerate till this rate YET no one appreciate it.
why? WHY THE FUCK MUST I BEAR WITH THIS !!!

they says i'm very important, never to be seperated. BUT HAVE I BEEN TREATED AS SOMEONE SPECIAL !!
nobody cares.
NOBODY
even my closest friend doesn't care.
will others care?
ya, i MAY SEEMS important. but the fact is : i'm really not.
i'm really not.

you know, sometimes i'm really used to being mocked at but can they AT LEAST RESPECT WHAT I LIKE !
have i EVER mocked at ANY things that they like?
but must they ALL MOCK at what I LIKE and ANTI it?
if they dislike it then so be it, at least not making it a BIG fuss of ME liking things that i like.
everyone is different, i know i'm the lowly and useless stuff that everyone dislike.
but all i wanted is some respect from them.
is it very hard?
or is it something that is very hidious to ask for?


untill today, then i realise that i'm actually not one of you,
like i'm just a nobody among you
definitely not someone that plays a special part in life.


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